There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
