You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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