hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
