So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
