So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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