So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
