I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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