Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
