Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
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My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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