When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
