So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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