I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
