nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is the high leading the old right now
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
