did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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