Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
