He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
