If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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