she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
