This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
