So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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