Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
