my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We named our party play list daddy issues
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
