iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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