What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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