I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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