He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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