sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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