What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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