The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
