I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
