worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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