dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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