I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
