Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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