Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
