An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
