so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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