So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
