idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
