theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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