did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it was like eating out sand paper
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
