he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
