Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You left your phone here
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