So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
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I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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