FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
