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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think i have herpe
just one?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
