your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
