at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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