you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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