Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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