I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Drunk is not a location!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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