It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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