Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Drunk is not a location!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
