its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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