If i come over, it means nothing
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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