You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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