his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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