I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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