I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
