So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
