Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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