HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
