it wasn't lemon gatorade
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
