Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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