Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
