Jerry, you need to find god
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
