i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I am morally bankrupt
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
