I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
